Calming the Nerves: How to Get Even the Most Camera-Shy Grooms to Shine in Wedding Photos

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my career as a wedding photographer, it’s that not everyone loves being in front of the camera. In fact, at least one out of every ten weddings I shoot, I hear the dreaded phrase: "James, the groom doesn’t like having his picture taken." But guess what? I’ve got a secret sauce for that, and it works like a charm every time.

I’ll let you in on my little secret—it’s all about keeping things light, fun, and relaxed. The trick isn’t just to act like a professional photographer; it’s to treat the couple like old friends, to joke around, and to make the whole process feel less like a photoshoot and more like a good time with a mate.

A Wedding Day Story at Gougane Barra Church

Let me paint a picture for you. We’re outside the stunning Gougane Barra Church in County Cork. It’s a picturesque setting—lush greenery, a serene lake, and the perfect backdrop for wedding photos. But the groom? He’s not feeling it. He’s already made it known that he’s not one for having his picture taken.

So what’s a photographer to do? Cue the secret sauce! I suggest a simple pose: a classic lean and kiss shot. “Right,” the groom says. He goes for it, but it’s...well, let’s just say it’s not quite the romantic movie scene I had in mind.

Now, here’s where the fun comes in. I shout out, “God damn it, man, like in The Notebook! Grab her, lean her back, and kiss her like you mean it!” Everyone bursts out laughing—the groom, the bride, even the wedding guests. But a lightbulb goes off in the groom’s head. He gets it. He grabs his bride, leans her way back, and plants a kiss on her. They're both trying to keep a straight face but end up laughing hysterically. And in that moment, the camera clicks, capturing the real joy, the genuine smiles, and those raw, unscripted moments that are worth more than a thousand posed shots.

After that, the rest of the photoshoot was a breeze. The groom, who had been dreading this part of the day, turned to me and said, “James, fair play, man. I wouldn’t have stood there for all those pictures, but you’re a madman. You made it so fun that I was able to loosen up. I was chilled out, and honestly, I was dreading this all day.” That’s the magic, folks.

Turning Nerves into Natural Smiles

This is the heart and soul of my wedding photography style. It’s not about stiff poses or forced smiles. It’s about creating a relaxed environment where everyone feels at ease. And trust me, this doesn’t just work at Gougane Barra. Whether I’m shooting at a scenic spot in County Kerry, a vibrant cityscape in Cork, or the breathtaking views at Sheen Falls in Kenmare, my goal is the same: capture the essence of the couple’s love story in the most genuine way possible.

By the way, these stunning locations aren’t just backdrops; they’re characters in your love story. Imagine the rugged cliffs of Moher, where the wind tousles your hair and the sea roars in approval of your union. Or the serene atmosphere at Sheen Falls, where the cascading water adds a touch of natural elegance to your photos. Or even the bustling streets of Cork City, where life pulses around you, making your quiet moments together even more special.

Building a Connection

One of the best ways to calm those pre-wedding jitters is by building a connection before the big day. This might sound obvious, but it's often overlooked. When couples choose me as their wedding photographer—whether it's for an intimate elopement or a grand celebration—I make it a point to meet up, chat, and understand who they are. I want to know what makes them laugh, what they love about each other, and even what they’re nervous about.

This connection is key. It’s why I’m often seen as more than just a photographer on the wedding day. I’m that friend with a camera who happens to be capturing the most important day of their lives. This approach is especially effective when the bride or groom feels anxious about being in front of the lens. My outgoing, laid-back attitude helps put everyone at ease, ensuring that the images we capture are natural and full of life.

The Power of Laughter

Laughter is the best icebreaker. My style is to keep things light-hearted, to joke around, and sometimes even to make a fool of myself if it gets a genuine laugh. There’s no better sound than hearing a couple crack up during what was supposed to be a serious pose. Those moments are golden, not just because they’re fun, but because they’re real. The photos we take during those moments are the ones you’ll cherish because they capture who you really are together.

For example, while working as a Kerry wedding photographer or a Limerick wedding photographer, I've had couples tell me that their favorite pictures were the ones where they were mid-laughter, not the posed shots. And that’s what it’s all about—capturing the authentic, unfiltered joy that comes with marrying the love of your life.

Conclusion: Trust the Process and the Photographer

If there’s one thing I want to leave you with, it’s this: Trust your photographer. Trust the process. Whether you’re having your wedding in a cozy hotel in Cork, on the beaches of Kerry, or in a historic venue in Dublin, remember that your wedding day is about you and your partner. It’s not about perfect poses or looking like models; it’s about the love you share and the fun you have together.

So, to all the brides and grooms out there, especially those who might be a little camera-shy, know that you’re in good hands. Let’s laugh, let’s have fun, and let’s create some beautiful memories together. After all, this is your day. Let’s make it unforgettable.