We Don’t Take Good Photos. Should We Still Have An Engagement Shoot?
“We’re not photogenic.”
I honestly couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard those four words.
If I had a euro for every couple who said it to me before an engagement shoot, I’d probably have retired years ago.
The funny thing is that the people who say it most are usually the people who end up with the photographs they love the most.
I hear it all the time.
“We hate having our photo taken.”
“We never know what to do.”
“We’re awkward.”
“We’re not one of those couples.”
And every single time I smile because I know what’s coming next.
Not because I’m some magician with a camera.
Not because I’m about to turn them into models.
But because I’ve seen this story hundreds of times before.
The Biggest Myth About Engagement Photos
Most people think engagement photos are for naturally confident couples.
The couples who are always smiling.
Always posting photos together.
Always comfortable in front of a camera.
The reality is usually the exact opposite.
The couples who benefit most from an engagement shoot are often the couples who are nervous about it.
The ones who have built up this huge idea in their head about how awkward it’s going to be.
The ones who are already worrying about where to put their hands before we’ve even met.
The Real Problem Isn’t The Camera
The camera isn’t usually the problem.
The problem is the story people tell themselves before they ever stand in front of one.
“What if I look weird?”
“What if I don’t know what to do?”
“What if the photographer has us doing all sorts of strange poses?”
“What if I’m not photogenic?”
The mind is a funny thing.
It creates a problem long before one actually exists.
Most couples arrive carrying that little bit of fear with them.
Then we start walking.
We start talking.
We have a laugh.
And slowly that fear starts disappearing.
What Actually Happens During An Engagement Shoot?
Most people imagine standing awkwardly in front of a camera while somebody barks instructions at them.
That sounds awful to me too.
The reality is very different.
For the first few minutes we simply walk and talk.
I ask about the wedding.
How you met.
What you’re nervous about.
What you’re excited about.
I crack a few bad jokes.
You tell me you’re awkward.
I tell you everybody says that.
Then I explain something very simple.
Everything I’m about to ask you to do is something you already do every day.
You hold hands.
You walk together.
You look at each other.
You laugh.
You hug.
You kiss.
You’re already doing all of those things.
I’m just photographing them.
That’s it.
The Moment Everything Changes
There’s usually a moment during every engagement shoot.
You can almost see it happen.
The shoulders drop.
The nervous laugh becomes a real laugh.
The couple stop thinking about the camera.
And they start paying attention to each other.
That’s when the magic happens.
Not because of posing.
Not because of lighting.
Because people become themselves.
When two people look at each other, they usually smile.
Then they laugh.
Then they laugh harder because they think they’re being silly.
I’m standing there photographing that entire sequence.
Five or six frames from a single moment.
And somewhere in those frames is usually the photograph they fall in love with.
Pataire & John
I recently photographed Pataire and John before their wedding.
Like so many couples, they told me they weren’t photogenic people.
We headed out around Killarney, walked, talked, laughed and took a few photographs along the way.
Nothing forced.
Nothing complicated.
Just two people spending time together.
By the end of the shoot they were completely different.
Not because they had changed.
Because they had relaxed enough to be themselves.
By the time their wedding day arrived they already knew what worked.
They knew how easy the process was.
They knew they didn’t have to perform.
And that confidence carried right through the wedding.
The Biggest Benefit Nobody Talks About
People think the biggest benefit of an engagement shoot is getting beautiful photographs.
It’s not.
The biggest benefit is confidence.
You stop wondering.
You stop worrying.
You stop building up imaginary problems in your head.
You realise your photographer is just another human being.
You realise you don’t need to be a model.
You realise you don’t need perfect poses.
You realise being yourself is enough.
And once that happens, everything changes.
o… Are Engagement Photos Worth It?
For some couples, absolutely.
Not because you need photographs before your wedding.
Not because it’s another item to tick off a wedding checklist.
But because it removes the fear.
It turns the unknown into something familiar.
It gives you confidence.
And it helps you arrive on your wedding day knowing exactly what to expect.
Every couple who has ever told me they’re awkward, unphotogenic or uncomfortable in front of a camera has one thing in common.
They nearly always leave saying:
“That wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.”
Most of them end up enjoying it.
A lot of them end up loving it.
And every now and then they look at the back of the camera and say something I hear all the time.
“Is that really us?”
The answer is always the same.
Yes.
That’s you.
The version of you that forgot to worry.
From Engagement Shoot To Wedding Day: Pataire & John’s Story
I’ve shared a few photographs from Pataire & John’s engagement shoot throughout this article, but what makes their story interesting isn’t just the engagement session itself.
Like so many couples, they arrived convinced they weren’t particularly photogenic and weren’t completely comfortable in front of the camera.
We spent an hour walking, chatting, laughing and taking a few photographs around Killarney. Nothing forced. Nothing awkward. Just two people being themselves.
Fast forward to their wedding day and they absolutely owned it.
Not because they suddenly became models.
Not because they spent hours practising poses.
They simply arrived knowing what to expect.
The nerves around the camera were gone.
The trust was already there.
The result was a wedding gallery packed with life, emotion and genuine moments. Real laughter. Real reactions. Real connections with family and friends. The kind of photographs that actually feel like the day when you look back at them years later.
If you’d like to see exactly what I mean, have a look at Pataire & John’s wedding story and see how that confidence carried through from their engagement shoot right into one of the most emotional and joyful wedding days I’ve photographed.
Real Moments Start Long Before The Wedding Day
An engagement shoot isn’t really about taking photographs.
It’s about removing the fear.
It’s about realising you don’t need to be a model, know what to do with your hands, or spend the whole time worrying about the camera.
The best photographs happen when people relax enough to be themselves.
That’s true during an engagement shoot, and it’s even more true on a wedding day.
If you’re looking for a photographer who focuses on real moments, real laughter and helping camera-shy couples feel comfortable, have a look at my Cork Wedding Photographer guide where you’ll find real weddings, advice, reviews and what it’s actually like to work together on the day.
