What If We’re Awkward In Front Of The Camera?
Probably the most common thing couples say to me before a wedding is:
“James we are awkward in front of the camera.”
Or:
“He will be grand, he loves attention, but I absolutely hate the camera.”
Truthfully?
Nearly everyone says it.
And honestly I completely understand it.
Social media has destroyed the confidence of so many people. Filters, editing apps and perfect looking photos online have made normal people feel like they somehow need to look like models all day long.
But weddings are not about perfection.
They are about connection.
That look only he knows.
That smile that levelled him the first time he saw you.
That laugh she only does around you.
That is what we are looking for.
And honestly?
That is perfect.
Perfect for the two of ye.
- Hollie & Paul
“Neither of us love being photographed, but James had us laughing and relaxed all day.” - Allison Gordon
“I’m rarely happy with photos of myself, but every single image blew me away.” - Pamela Milner
“James blended in like one of the gang and captured everything without getting in the way.”
- Lisa Kelleher
“From the minute he walked in the door he made everyone feel comfortable.” - Anne Marie & Stuart
“He captured the emotional rollercoaster of the day exactly as it felt.” - Connie
“He walked in and suddenly the nerves were gone.”
The Biggest Mistake Wedding Photographers Can Make
I have written about this before, but for me one of the biggest mistakes photographers can make is coming across too strict or too serious all day long.
Sure, you might get technically stunning images.
But they might be stunning photographs your clients do not even like of themselves.
People need to relax first.
They need to feel safe around you.
That is why I always try to become one of the group quickly.
I want couples to see:
“This guy is a bit nuts, we can actually relax around him.”
Because once people stop worrying about the photographer, they start becoming themselves again.
And that is when the real photographs happen.
- Hollie Inger
“We actually loved having our photos taken, which we never thought we’d say.” - Sheila & Paul
“He handled the wild Irish weather effortlessly and still captured every emotion.” - Vageesha & Vatsal
“Nothing felt staged. It just felt like us.” - Katie Stark
“The moments captured were so special and natural.”
There Is No Magic Pill
People always think photographers have some magic trick.
Truthfully?
There is not really one.
It is just about talking to people like human beings.
Walking.
Talking.
Having the craíc.
Asking questions.
If I am walking with a bride and groom I am constantly watching for little changes.
You see the shoulders begin to relax.
The nervous smiles soften.
The fake smiles disappear.
The conversation starts flowing naturally.
You ask them about their kids.
Their jobs.
How they met.
What they first noticed about each other.
And suddenly something changes.
If I ask a groom:
“What was the first thing you noticed about her?”
The smiles usually grow wider instantly.
Then the slagging starts.
Because if he is a joker himself he is liable to say absolutely anything and she already knows exactly what is coming.
That is where the real laughter happens.
Not fake posed laughter.
Real laughter.
The Best Photos Usually Happen Between The Poses
Couples often say:
“We hate posed images.”
And honestly I get that too.
But the truth is about ninety five percent of most weddings is candid photography anyway.
The rest is usually broken into:
- family photographs
- bridal party images
- a few relaxed portraits together
Even during those more guided moments though, I still want something happening inside the image.
Movement.
Connection.
Fun.
Most Couples Do Not Hate Photos
They hate pressure.
They hate feeling judged.
They hate fake posing.
They hate feeling watched.
If I ask a couple to kiss, half the time I will stop them halfway through and say:
“Come here lads, not like that… have ye ever seen The Notebook?”
Nearly everybody has.
Now suddenly they are laughing because he is trying to recreate some dramatic Hollywood kiss while she is in bits laughing at him trying.
That is the moment I actually want.
Not the kiss itself.
The laughter after it.
The nerves breaking.
The two people finally relaxing into themselves.
That sounds silly right, but life is about been silly, silly moments of real laughter.
Nervous Couples Actually Photograph Beautifully
Honestly?
Some of the most nervous couples photograph the best.
Because there is something incredibly real and fragile in the way nervous people look at each other.
The smiles are softer.
The laughs are genuine.
The emotion feels honest.
At the beginning couples can feel stiff because they are thinking too much.
But once they relax, it genuinely feels like photographing two completely different people.
That is why I always say:
becoming comfortable matters more than posing perfectly.
People do not need to know how to pose.
They just need to feel comfortable enough to forget the camera exists.
Micro Expressions Are Everything
One thing people never realise is how quickly our faces change.
Tiny little expressions happen constantly.
A smile.
A glance.
A laugh.
A softening around the eyes.
They happen so quickly that sometimes I might shoot eight or nine images in just a couple of seconds because I am watching for those tiny changes.
That one tiny expression can completely transform a photograph.
Couples will often look at the back of the camera afterwards and say:
“Jesus… is that actually me?”
And yes.
It is.
Because they stopped thinking about trying to look perfect and just became themselves for a second.
Perfect Does Not Exist In Wedding Photography
Honestly, perfect does not exist in wedding photography.
And why would you even want it to?
Perfect usually means:
- fake smiles
- fake laughter
- stiff posing
- everybody standing exactly right
- nobody acting naturally
You can spot it instantly too.
Everybody can.
You ever look at a wedding photo and immediately think:
“Jesus that smile is fake.”
Of course you have.
Because humans are unbelievably good at reading emotion, even through photographs.
That is why connection matters so much more than perfection ever will.
For me, I do not want couples standing there looking like two people trapped inside a posing tutorial on YouTube.
I want them laughing because something actually funny happened.
I want the smiles to come from real moments.
A joke.
A look.
A memory.
A little comment whispered into someone’s ear.
That is the difference.
Real emotion leaves little imperfections behind and honestly those imperfections are usually the beautiful part.
The hair blowing across someone’s face.
The uncontrollable laugh.
The wrinkled nose when someone bursts out giggling.
The tears that ruin makeup slightly.
The groom who cannot stop smiling even when he is trying to act serious.
That is real life.
And real life will always age better than perfection ever could.
What I Would Say To Anybody Who Hates Cameras
Honestly?
I get it completely.
I have heard it thousands of times over the years.
But imagine this instead.
Imagine walking around with a group of friends you have known forever and one of them just happens to have a camera.
You would not really care about the camera then.
That is my job.
To become that person you can relax around quickly.
We will talk shite.
We will laugh.
We will take the pressure off things completely.
And before you know it, the nerves fade away.
You stop overthinking.
You stop worrying.
And suddenly you are just being yourselves together.
That is where the magic always is.
Not in perfect posing.
In connection.
If you are looking for a relaxed Cork wedding photographer who understands how nerve-racking being in front of a camera can feel and wants your wedding photographs to feel natural, fun and genuinely like YOU, you can explore more of my work below.
